While sucking on your wife’s breasts, I am a proper gentleman.” ♥ “That said, what I said before was no joke. ♥ “As you can see, this little violin is asking you to get lost” ♥ “The reason trees bloom in the spring is so their foliage will be out of the water in the summer months.” Instead of a gigabyte white model, the Iphone received a GB white model.” Nick asked Santa for a large, black present. The dealer claims to understand and accepts it, no questions asked.” ♥ “My parents found out I was smoking and instead of paying me in cash, they gave me gift cards. In other words, you are an oxygen thief.” Did you think you were pregnant? Ahh…so so? I sincerely hope you never talk again. You just stand there with your legs as far apart as possible, eagerly awaiting the next appropriate person to pass. ♥ “Which is your favourite sexual position? There it is, my own! It’s known as the virgin. ♥ “We had to purchase pasta from the dollar shop since we had no money.”
♥ “pol.i.ti.cian/noun/: the act of shaking someone’s hand prior to an election, followed by the action of raising the public’s confidence thereafter” ♥ “Sir Cumference, who became the largest knight at King Arthur’s table, did so because of the excessive amounts of pie he consumed.” ♥ “He will only know whether he has tasted the cereal if he’s never tried the cereal, as he’s a self-professed “candy monster”.” ♥ “Kindergarten substitutes have the opportunity to earn money while eating cookies and colouring for the day.” ♥ “Do you want a divorce? Yup, my wife was a royal pain in the ass.” ♥ “So there I was up to my neck in the vagina” My muscles had shrivelled like those of a sixty-year-old.” ♥ “I came within striking distance of landing the role of Stewie on Family Guy” ♥ “an elite/adjective: In the closing two minutes of a football game, this team has to play at an incredibly high level.” ♥ “But if they’ve managed to put a man on the moon, why can’t they put beer in a rack?” ♥ “What if crappy music is only popular because females who are on the cusp of middle age are the only ones who buy music?” ♥ “You are supported by your parents with regards to food, petrol, rent, tuition, and a vehicle? Would you mind elaborating on what it means to be self-sufficient?” ♥ “Joe and Steve, the artists Joe, would you want to go bowling? What on Earth is that person doing all the way out there? For God’s sake, Steve! No, he wouldn’t.” ♥ “Are you saying the judge is a man? It’s on, I’m on, we’re brilliant, I’m your best buddy.” ♥ “My television guide is refusing to play…Now I have to check through every single corner of the tray to see if anything is on” The larger the boobs, the prettier they are.” ♥ “There isn’t much of a difference between blondes and brunettes when it comes to who enjoys more fun. Funny inappropriate pics funny humor memes
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